


What could be and what is

by Komaedasbuns



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: F/M, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Murder-Suicide, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 17:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10417632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Komaedasbuns/pseuds/Komaedasbuns
Summary: I am sorry i did this half-sleep ,trying to fight against sleep (wich by the way didn't end well),so if you found mistakes i'm sorry,i think Mikan is a good character,i don't like that they turned her into a fanservice character,bu i feel bad that a lot of people hate her for the fanservice or killing ibuki and saionji (for being ''waifus'' when others characters killed and aren't hated as much as mikan) so, i hope you enjoy reading.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry i did this half-sleep ,trying to fight against sleep (wich by the way didn't end well),so if you found mistakes i'm sorry,i think Mikan is a good character,i don't like that they turned her into a fanservice character,bu i feel bad that a lot of people hate her for the fanservice or killing ibuki and saionji (for being ''waifus'' when others characters killed and aren't hated as much as mikan) so, i hope you enjoy reading.

I don’t want to be forgotten,even if I have to resort at the most humiliating actions to keep my existence real, because i am afraid. that my existence is so important as the foot marks on a beach, the waves always erasing them, i am afraid that at some point i won’t know what is real, i really despise myself, they hurt me too much, and it did pay off because my own self worth is wrecked.

My existence don’t have a worth, so i have to do whatever the others want me to do, that gives meaning to my life, a bit, that’s only how is supposed to be right?.

‘’Do you like what they do to you?’’  
~~_No ,i hate myself more for it, but i can’t say anything_.~~

Ahh it’s the first time someone asked me that, in fact i think it’s been a long time since i held up a conversation this long and they never said anything bad all through it, ~~thanks~~ i am getting nervous, my hands are sweating and i-i really don’t know what to say, I’ve practiced a conversation a million times but the pressure in my head is overwhelming , i search something to say,whatever!,say something!.

Oh i know! This always works! He won’t be mad with me if i do!, i gape a moment am just too nervous that i can’t find the words.

‘’You can draw on me!, or...or! Try to shot an apple on my head!’’ please don’t, i am too scared to do it again. tears are prickling at the corners of my eyes, begging to be freed.

  
~~Don’t be mad,don’t hit me, don’t scream at me, don’t insult me~~  
~~Don’t be mad,don’t be mad,don’t be mad,don’t be mad please.~~

Hajime is so good to me, even tough he saw my flaws, my most disgusting, despairing parts, he still is so good.  
~~He will hurt you, even mom and dad hated you.~~  
~~He thinks you are disgusting~~  
~~He feels sorry for you~~  
But he doesn’t ignore my existence!, he is always so nice, so nice,as anyone ever was to me, and i am too scared to let go of that kindness ~~pity~~

Rustle can be heard, footsteps in the yard try to concentrate in the sound, while they drown my face in mud, shoes pressing my head down, i can feel their bare hands ripping and cutting locks of my hair, the faint smell of burnt skin from cigarettes that i previously asked them to leave because it was bad for their health, try to focus on others sounds but i can still hear the light gurgle coming from my throat and my body is trying to stir himself out of the pain, i hear them laugh,stronger,harder,and i don’t feel anything anymore just hear them laugh and laugh.

  
_Harder_

  
_It’s echoing in my ears_

  
_Hehehehehe_

  
_My ears are bleeding_

  
_I feel deaf to every other sound except the laugh_

  
_Hehehehehe_

  
_I taste mud and blood, mixing together in my mouth._

  
_hehehehehe_

  
But then i am the _only_ one laughing,i am alone in my cottage ,i was all _alone_ , i search in my pockets desperately , until i find it, i grasp it against my chest, the last gift Hajime gave me the last time he invited me to hang out, a packet of cute bunny band-aids he always invites me, and always gave me something, my past is searching for me , even in the daylight, so I take sleep pills, I grab a glass of water.

  
_One pill_

  
_Feeling drowsy._

  
_Two pills_

  
_And I go to sleep_

  
_I dreamt of Hajime , he doesn’t do anything bad to me, and I feel happy._

They are becoming worst each day, I cry and cry, but Hajime is by my side , so a I am fine, I feel happy both in my dreams and with him and almost anybody is bad with me, I don’t have to keep feigning to trip, because they care about me ~~bullshit~~ ,they don’t care , ~~I am scared to go back to my usual days~~ , I am grateful.

  
_Until the day comes._

  
A CORPSE HAS BEEN FOUND, in a short period a class trial will be held!.

  
Victim: _Hajime Hinata_

  
I grasp my apron too tight, my knuckles are white, Hajime is in the Titty Typhoon, hanging by the neck in an blue hospital gown, ~~you did it~~ , SHUT UP, ~~you strangled him~~ , STOP ~~he was under your care and you killed him~~ , NO!.

  
Fingers points at you as the blackened in the trial, nobody really cares about you dying, so you laugh.

  
You laugh, and laugh, until your lungs burn, and now you don’t even know why did you kill him.

  
_Ah,I remember, it’s for love sake!._

  
I wake up crying, despair, Hajime is alive.

  
You keep taking the pills, but now they are an accomplice to your nightmares, they get you trapped until the effects pass and you are hyperventilating in your bed flushed and despairing, you feel hot.

  
You keep hearing the laughs, just that now they aren’t from the kids in your past or your parents, it’s you own despairing laugh, it resembles to _her_.  
Murderous thoughts about ruining your own life for love haunt you day and night.

  
So you take a glass of water.

And you take

  
_one pill_

  
_Feeling drowsy_

  
_Two pills_

  
_Why am I crying? i'm choking on tears taking the next pill with shaky hands._

  
_Three pills_

  
_I was feeling happy, I love him._

  
_Four pills_

  
_And I go to sleep._

 

_I dreamt with Hajime._


End file.
